My Two and a Half Year Old is My Kobayashi Maru

Hes starting to become much more... strong willed. 

Hes a runner now. He runs away a lot.

Counting to three isn't a sure thing anymore.

I'm so tired. All the time I'm just so tired.

And then he comes to me and touches my face. He tells me "I love you so much." He holds my hand in the car and begs me to lay down with him at bedtime. 

I'm in a perpetual state of transition from frustration and adoration. 

He is my unbeatable test. 

Egg Shaped Sandwiches for Kaleb's Toddler Easter Egg Hunt

Today was the big Easter Egg hunt and party for our little mommy's group. 

It was pot luck, so I made some egg shaped sandwhiches for the wee ones. 

They were ham and cheese, though I think PB&J might have held up nice. But seeing as how my boy is alergic to peanuts, ham and cheese it was!

See? super simple

I also really liked my hair that day. I did three little buns at the base of my head. This picture does it no justice! I looked good. 

Kaleb kept trying to get at the balloon decorations.

All the kiddos were so good. (and pretty darn adorable)

Love Kaleb's shirt?

Me too. 

And, of course, the bubbles were a smash it. 

When it finally got to egg hunt time, it was like jungle/crazy/treasure hunt kids.

Kaleb contemplated stealing Jame's eggs, but he chose the right in the end.

When we got home, he dug into his treasures.

Then, maybe had a little suger rush...

But the banjo music calmed his soul and he napped well.


It was really a pleasant day.

The Yo Gabba Gabba! Inflitration

Yo Gabba Gabba! (<-- the exclamation point is in the title. I'm not yelling at you.)
It kinda snuck up on us.

Like a sneaky cat that looks all friendly and you think "oh, I'll just toss him a scrap of bread". But then he comes back and he won't stop mewing, so before you know it you've got a 5lb bag of meow mix, a litter box in your bathroom and you're going collar shopping.

It all started at the beginning of this week. We're having some down time, flipping through Netflix. I've been trying to get Kaleb into Sesame Street. My MIL sings its praises and I figured it would be a nice educational show.

Well right next to the Sesame Street picture is the more brightly colored Yo Gabba Gabba! picture. Kaleb kept pointing to it and asking (I'm assuming) in his baby garble to see that one.
So, I've heard good things about it. Two guys from our ward stared and our wedding photographer is something like the producer (don't quote me, I'm not sure.) so I thought "What the hey. lets give it a shot."

5 episodes later Kaleb had dug up some Brobee doll (the little green one) that my cousin gave us in a box of other toys and books (I don't even know how he remembered it was in his toy box)
And my child is jumping up and down yelling "Gabba! Gabba! Gabba!" and signing "More" Whenever DJ Lance Rock says its time to go.

Now, although this childhood "obsession" (its only been a week, but I think this one is sticking) came on us quickly, its not necessarily bad at all.

The music is fun and there are tons of cool guests.
Its just awesome. I mean, come on... they have a 'BEAT OF THE DAY'

It may not teach reading or writing like Sesame Street, but I love the social skills they promote. Some of my favorites are; Don't bite your friends, Clean up your trash, Its ok to be afraid sometimes, Try it you'll like it and Different isn't scary.

Plus I find fun little hints at the creators beliefs in there every once and a while.

See anything interesting in this still from the Yo Gabba Gabba! short?

Its a fun show, and I'd rather have Kaleb watch this than any cartoon on TV.

So yeah. Not a lot happened this week, so this is has been a pretty dominant theme.

Kaleb Things to Remember

There are already things I'm starting to forget about baby Kaleb.
I want to make a list here to help me remember.

1. When he was crawling (just crawling, not walking like now) and I caught his eye, we would crawl as fast as we could to each other and crash. He would laugh and laugh as I picked him up and rolled over and kissed his face.
2. He LOVES having his face kissed. We discovered this when he was three months old and had a bad cold. He was super fussy and just a miserable baby. We had him in bed with us and Blake kissed his cheeks forehead and other cheek. When I looked at Kaleb's face, his eyes were closed and he was smiling big. Ever since, if I can grab him and keep him still, I'll kiss his cheeks, nose, and forehead and Kaleb will close his eyes and give me a big big grin. I love it. 
3. He is now 13 months old and is exploring EVERYTHING. He's even stopped looking so much like a baby. His face is thinning out, and he smiles with his four chomping teeth all the time. (with two more on top coming in fast).
4. He knows when hes doing something wrong now. He loves to play with the TV buttons, and when I catch him at it he smiles until I go over to him, then he runs away laughing. The little terd.
5. Hes dancing now too. Not with much rhythm, and only one move, but its the best dancing I've ever seen. He sort of bounces up and down grinning. Its amazing.
6. Kaleb colored and drank from a straw for the first time at Red Robin last week. 

I'll think of more and add it soon.

I miss nursing

Is that weird?
I don't think it is, but I'm still unsure.

Most moms I talk to to say they're glad to finally have the freedom, to not be bitten by their little milk vampires anymore.

and, though Kaleb never bit me, it is nice to have the freedom of not nursing.

But I still miss it.

I miss needing nothing other than my own body to calm, sooth and feed my son.
I miss him holding me tight and cuddling as he fed. I mean, lets be honest, he is not at all interested in cuddling right now.

Maybe its all part of me resisting (however slightly) him growing up.
I am so proud of my son. I love watching him discover his world and all the things in it.

Hes making decisions now.
My baby is making decisions.

Hes choosing when he wants more and when hes all done.
He knows what books he wants to hear at bedtime.
He decides when he wants to take a bath (which is whenever I ask him, but still)

I'm glad we weaned. It was the right time.
But I see the last small remnant of my baby slipping away.
In his place there is a curious, intelligent, independent and saucy toddler sneaking up.

I also feel unneeded.
Is it coincidence that weaning coincided with Kaleb's "Daddy" phase?
When he was an infant and cried when ever his dad (or anyone besides me) held him, in order to comfort Blake, I told him it was because I was Kalbe's food source. He didn't want me, he wanted lunch.

I didn't think it was actually true.

Now EVERYTHING is "Dada". He even carries around a picture of Blake (when he, Blake, is at work) and says "Dada!" most of the day.

I miss being #1.
And, alright, I'll admit it, I think I deserve to be #1 always. (until he falls in love, of course)

I carried him for 9 months! I fell in love with him when he was the size of my pinky. When Blake would occasionally forget he even existed. Not to mention the struggle of bringing him into this world.

I love him so much.
So completely.
I am a little bitter about being second fiddle to Blake.
(but I guess, if I have to be second to anyone, it should be him)

I expected that with girls, but not my boy.

So, now I have no milk, hardly any cuddles and all the baby weight in the world...

I guess I also have a strong, healthy, so smart toddler who, if I'm lucky, will give me a kiss or two and let me hold his bottle while he drinks.