Sleeping and Dreaming

I have been so out of it lately.
I'm pretty sure its because of my lack of sleep.
Sure I sleep in till 8 or 9am, but I can't fall asleep before 3!

I'm so uncomfortable in bed.
Seriously, I think I proclaim "I hate going to bed." at least once a night.
And usually when I so tired I can't keep my eyes open.

Snoogle Pillow

I just feel so dense. You know how, on holidays or special occasions you sometimes stuff yourself with all manner of deliciousness and when you're all done eating, you realize how incredibly full you are and you so uncomfortable for about an hour until the food digests more? Yeah, that's how I feel all the time!

 Except instead of food, its by baby... so I don't want to digest him... I want to birth him... but not for another 4 months.

So in the meantime, I'm tossing and turning, trying to support my growing belly with pillows and wrapping my legs around Blake.

My only saving grace is the magnificent Snoogle pillow my amazing friend, Laura Chapman got for me early in my second trimester. Its helped so much, but I fear its powers may no longer work.


Oh, and the dreams... have I mentioned the vivid dreams I have?
I have always had some seriously real dreams. I generally don't know they're dreams when I'm in them, and despite his protests, I tell Blake all about them in the morning.

Artist's rendition of Jacob Black (Not the movie Jacob)

But since I've been pregnant, they gotten... so very vivid.
and they range from -

wonderful (playing with my happy, healthy Kaleb) 


to scary (being chased by a knife wielding murderer bent set on carving me like a pumpkin)


to devastating (Blake has a secret girlfriend who he loves more that me) 


to naughty (... YOU know what I'm talking about... but Blake is the only one whose made appearances in these dreams... well, Blake and once Jacob Black, but he's fictions so he doesn't count) 

But regardless the theme, they're all SO real!

Basically I wake myself and Blake up, nightly, yelling or crying or screaming or something.

Discomfort and vivid dreams aside, I do love lying there and feeling Kaleb push and kick. I absolutely adore feeling him move and grow. Sometimes he puts some serious force behind his kicks, and those are difficult to get used to. I generally follow those up with an "oh!" of surprise.

But I do adore them.

They mean my little love is getting stronger and healthier as he should be.

I seriously can't wait to stay up all night with him.

I wont be getting any more sleep than I am now, but at least I'll be able to hold him!