I don't think it is, but I'm still unsure.
Most moms I talk to to say they're glad to finally have the freedom, to not be bitten by their little milk vampires anymore.
and, though Kaleb never bit me, it is nice to have the freedom of not nursing.
But I still miss it.
I miss needing nothing other than my own body to calm, sooth and feed my son.
I miss him holding me tight and cuddling as he fed. I mean, lets be honest, he is not at all interested in cuddling right now.
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I am so proud of my son. I love watching him discover his world and all the things in it.
Hes making decisions now.
My baby is making decisions.
Hes choosing when he wants more and when hes all done.
He knows what books he wants to hear at bedtime.
He decides when he wants to take a bath (which is whenever I ask him, but still)
I'm glad we weaned. It was the right time.
But I see the last small remnant of my baby slipping away.
In his place there is a curious, intelligent, independent and saucy toddler sneaking up.
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I also feel unneeded.
Is it coincidence that weaning coincided with Kaleb's "Daddy" phase?
When he was an infant and cried when ever his dad (or anyone besides me) held him, in order to comfort Blake, I told him it was because I was Kalbe's food source. He didn't want me, he wanted lunch.
I didn't think it was actually true.
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Now EVERYTHING is "Dada". He even carries around a picture of Blake (when he, Blake, is at work) and says "Dada!" most of the day..JPG)
I miss being #1.
And, alright, I'll admit it, I think I deserve to be #1 always. (until he falls in love, of course)
I carried him for 9 months! I fell in love with him when he was the size of my pinky. When Blake would occasionally forget he even existed. Not to mention the struggle of bringing him into this world.
So completely.
I am a little bitter about being second fiddle to Blake.
(but I guess, if I have to be second to anyone, it should be him)
I expected that with girls, but not my boy.
So, now I have no milk, hardly any cuddles and all the baby weight in the world...
I guess I also have a strong, healthy, so smart toddler who, if I'm lucky, will give me a kiss or two and let me hold his bottle while he drinks.
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1 comment
Aw, I will totally miss nursing too! I didn't think I would. I was like all set to wean Lincoln at 9 months and move on with my life, but I love it! I've been thinking about giving him formula for one or two feedings a day so that I can store more milk and get him used to taking formula so that when you watch him, it won't be a total shock to the system, but I just don't want to. I love my cuddle time when I nurse him and love that he immediately stops fussing when I feed him and all is right with the world again. I will miss it SO MUCH. So you're not alone. As far as him liking Blake more though, that won't last forever. He will probably go back and forth between you for years to come. Lincoln already likes to hang out with Quinn more than me, but I think it has more to do with the fact that Quinn isn't always around and I am. I'm sure it's the same with Kaleb. He knows Mommy will always be there, but Dad comes and goes so it's a special treat when he gets to hang out with him. But in the end, he's your boy and he will love his Mama. Boys love their moms.
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